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Don't Miss:Spurs NationElection results32nd annual Tejano ConjuntoTrends: Bushy browsCityscape: La Tuna Ice HouseComics GamesOpinion HomeColumnistsCommentaryEditorialsLetters to the EditorAutomotiveEagle FordColumnistsNational/InternationalReal EstateSalary WizardPress releasesTop Work PlacesSponsored ContentRecent StoriesRestaurant SearchRestaurant News and ReviewsRecipesJust when you think that women's fashions have become wearable for most of us, the artistic director for , who says the "surprise element" of fashion is exciting, has produced a fallwinter line that certainly is surprising. To me, the surprise would be if anyone would wear his designs.
Hot off the runway in a , March 19 photo, the model peers out, with only one eye showing, from under a gumdropshape hat that appears to have been sat on and squashed from about 2 feet high to about 1 foot high; it has a wavy brim, accented by a large lumpy tassel that falls to her shoulder. She wears black Caprilength pants topped with a belowtheknee black skirt and a hiplength, goldorange, Aline, offtheshoulder minidress or long blouse (It's hard to tell which it is.). The skirt and blouse/dress appear to be made from leather squares with grommets or studs placed in a checkerboard pattern. She also wears almostelbowlength black leather gloves and black highplatform shoes. Most highfashion models look bored, but what you can see of this model's face says, "What did I do to deserve wearing this?"
The designer is , who says he didn't know much about the Louis Vuitton brand before he became its artistic director and still doesn't. He thinks the luggage for which Vuitton is famous is beautiful, but not practical. Perhaps he designed the ensemble so a woman could avoid luggage when traveling by wearing all her outer clothing instead of packing it. You can be ready for all occasions with a dress, skirt and pants. The hat could be used as a carryon for toilet articles and a change of undergarments; just tie it shut with the tassel fringes.
We, who have seen more fashion innovations than we care to remember, have to wonder if some designers hate women's bodies and feel compelled to change our shapes with clothing. It was bad enough when proper women wore hoop skirts so wide they couldn't get through doorways or corsets so tight they deformed rib cages and inhibited breathing. Skirt lengths have gone from being either so short we feel a draft if we bend over, or so long we trip on escalators. Many shoes deform women's feet and some don't seem to care. When women get their toes surgically removed to fit pointytoed, high heeled shoes, it reminds us of Chinese women whose feet were bound to lotusshapes, rendering them immobile but considered beautiful at that time. We remember bras that coneshaped bosoms to a point so pronounced that "the girls" entered the room before we did, and tight girdles that shaped us with metal stays and zippers that could be closed only if you would lie flat. Now we have underwire bras that can lift your bust line up to your chin and "shapers" that make you feel like you are encased in plastic clingwrap. Oh, for the simplicity of being Eve in the Garden: Fig leaf (small), banana leaf (medium) and elephant ear (large/Xlarge).